I don’t carry it
The way I used to

I used to load every thought like a sentence
Every mistake like a weight
Kept a running list of what I owed
To the past, to God, to fate
I thought pressure meant importance
Thought pain proved I was trying
Turns out most of what I held
Was just fear in better timing

I didn’t drop it
I set it down

This is what I carry now
Less anger, more air
Still got questions in my pocket
I just don’t take them everywhere
This is what I carry now
Not relief, not escape
Just a quieter way of walking
Through the same old days

I don’t rewrite what I lived through
I don’t clean it up for peace
I just stopped making every scar
Explain the man in front of me
Love still asks more than I’m ready for
Faith still shows up late
But I don’t meet them clenched fists
I give them space

I don’t feel lighter
I feel steady

This is what I carry now
Still the truth, just less blame
Still the weight of being present
Without dragging every name
This is what I carry now
Not a cure, not a crown
Just enough to keep moving
Just enough to stay around

If this is growth
It’s quieter than I imagined
No spotlight
Just room

This is what I carry now
No promises, no proof
Just a little more forgiveness
For the man I’m turning into
This is what I carry now
When the noise fades out
Not everything I’ve been through
Just what I need
Right now

I don’t carry it
The way I used to