Mm
I keep it low
Mm
Lower than goodbye

I found your handwriting folded in the drawer
Blue ink tired from being opened before
I put it back, then pulled it out again
Like paper knows the shape of where I’ve been
There’s a hallway hum when the house gets still
A little old song on the windowsill
I start the line, then I lose the rest
One sound rising in my chest

I can talk all day
About almost anything
But the one thing left to say
Keeps turning into singing

I keep your name under my breath
Low as a note I can’t let go
Right on the edge of my chest
Close to a yes, close to no
I say I’m fine, then I forget
And keep your name under my breath

I change the subject when the table leans
Toward that year and the in-between
I laugh too quick, I lift my glass
Let the hard part walk on past
But my mouth still knows where the letters live
Pressed like a mark I can’t forgive
Not loud enough for the room to hear
Still loud enough to pull me near

I can hold my face
Like the old ache learned to leave
But it moves when I move
And it breathes when I breathe

I keep your name under my breath
Low as a note I can’t let go
Right on the edge of my chest
Close to a yes, close to no
I say I’m fine, then I forget
And keep your name under my breath

Maybe if I say it clear
The ceiling won’t come down
Maybe it’s only heavy
Cause I keep it underground
So I let one letter open
Let it warm the back of my teeth
Not enough to lose you
Just enough to let me breathe

I keep your name under my breath
Low as a note I can’t let go
Right on the edge of my chest
Close to a yes, close to no
I don’t say goodbye
I don’t say not yet
I just keep your name
Under my breath

Mm
Lower than goodbye
Mm
But not buried tonight