The engine’s off
The lights are on
I didn’t go inside

Keys still warm in my hand
Clock on the dash says I’m late
Porch light flickers like it knows me
Still don’t move, still don’t break
Grocery list on the seat
Phone lights up, then goes dark
I tell myself “just a minute”
Like minutes don’t leave marks

The engine’s off
The lights are on
I didn’t go inside

House looks calm from the curb
Windows glow, nothing wrong
From out here everything’s working
I’m the only thing paused
I rehearse what I’ll say
Nothing heavy, nothing true
Just enough to sound normal
Just enough to make it through

The engine’s off
The lights are on
I’m still outside

I’m not afraid of the room
I’m afraid of what continues
Once I step into it

I think about leaving the car
I think about staying right here
Funny how both feel heavier
The longer they sit in the air
I don’t need a sign tonight
I don’t need to decide
I just sit with the moment
I didn’t go inside

The engine’s off
The lights are on
I didn’t go inside

Not yet